By Dr. Paula King
Yes, it’s that time of year again—time when many people decide to make a new years resolution. Setting an intention to make changes in your life is usually a healthy and helpful thing to do, but sometimes people make more negative stress in their life by either setting goals in such a manner as to ensure failure, or by constantly feeling guilty because they are not living up to what they told themselves they should do. If you are one of the many who like to set goals for the New Year think about the type of stress associated with your resolution and make sure it is stress that strengthens rather than weakens you.
Stress itself is just part of life, it is the effect of “life energy in action,” meaning it is everywhere, all the time. If you are alive stress is part of your life, but there is stress that breaks you down and stress that builds you up. It is like working out with weights: Lifting weights that are too heavy, or doing so many reps you injure yourself, is stress that breaks you down, but lifting weights and doing reps that challenge your muscles to get stronger without injuring them, makes you stronger in ever way. The intention of a helpful and healthy New Years resolution is to create a positive stress in your life by expressing your life energy in a manner that promotes health and wellbeing. “Expressions of life energy” include how you behave, what you think, what you say aloud, and what you imagine. Words and actions reflecting personal choice and self-responsibility create positive stress.”
The following are qualities associated with resolutions that create the kind of stress that strengthens and you can use the list to assist you in making a resolution that has both the best chance of being successful, and aids you in making 2010 a more healthful year.
- Start by making sure you believe the resolution is healthy for you. Too often a resolution is made because someone else tells you it would be good for you, but you may or may not be really convinced. If you do not believe in the merits of the resolution it is unlikely to be kept or successful.
- A positive resolution, when acted upon consistently, begins to create within you feelings of anticipation, peace, joy, excitement, confidence or any other positive emotion.
- There is a feeling of courage present when acting upon your resolution.
- You believe the action associated with your resolution is meaningful for your life and fits your value system.
- The action associated with your resolution requires you to grow, develop or maintain a positive aspect of yourself. The action can be related to mental, physical, or spiritual growth, or a combination of the three.
- Your resolution is occurring, not out of fear, but rather, as a response in service of what you desire for your life.
Dr. Paula King is a licensed psychologist in private.
